I've been battling the stomach flu since last Monday, so a little over a week now. I've dropped nearly 10 pounds because all I've been able to eat are popsicles, toast, little bits of yogurt and water/gatorade. Now, loosing weight is fabulous, and I can always stand to loose a few pounds but this is kind of like cheating. I want to earn those pounds through good diet and exercise, not having by body reject everything I put in it ;P
This morning I woke up feeling sorry for myself and angry at my body. "Why can't you just get over this already!?!?!?!" I keep mentally screaming at it. I miss my coffee, tea, fat (LOL). I don't like feeling like a prisoner to something I should be in control over. These things really show you how your body is just a shell letting they 'you' visit for a while and make use of it, but 'you' are not fully in control.
So in the midst of my moping and mental screaming during my drive to work I had two very good examples of why this is merely a mild inconvenience and I should have patience. The first was the homeless man I see every day on the same corner in the mornings. He always has the same "Please help, hungry" sign, walks the same two lanes of traffic. Everyday I feel equal parts guilty for not giving him money or my lunch if I brought it, and detached in wondering how he got there and how much does his pride suffer to beg like that (if he still has any pride at this point). Today, that little voice in me said "Look, he's hungry everyday and you've only faced this a week. By next week you'll probably be getting fat and happy again, and he'll still be looking for a meal." Ok. Point one for the voice.
Then on the radio the morning show I was listening to went on to talk about this woman who (along with her daughter) was a victim of a violent hit and run nearly two years ago. Neither were expected to survive it was so bad, but thankfully they both did. The daughter is fully recovered but the mom is still having problems. She's lost her house, her job, her child support. She has no money, no place to really live, and the treatments she needs she can't afford because her health insurance is refusing to pay. Without these treatments, the bones in both her legs will never heal. They've been broken for nearly two years now, but her nerves are rebelling and the healing process can't begin until the nerves are healed.
Needless to say, my pity party quickly faded in the face of these two examples. My body is going through a minor inconvenience but by next week or the next I'll be fine. I have two jobs, a great apartment, income, food, clothes, great friends, a mom I know I can ask for help if needed (not needed but she offers anyway, bless her), I am not without means or things. I am well and truly blessed beyond anything I could comprehend or probably deserve, so I have to just suck it up and remember that this will pass, for others it won't.
That doesn't mean I won't lapse into the pity party every now and then, but for today I've learned my lesson :)
