4) The Denial:
How many times have you sat around with your really close friends and said "I'll never turn my back on you." "We'll be friends forever, I don't care what anyone says." Although, I'm sure more colorful language than that is being used. Have you ever had a friend betray you? Did they go behind your back and cheat with your boy/girlfriend? Did they steal an idea from you and pass it off as their own? Did they lay the blame on you for something they did? Have you ever had your mettle as a true friend tested? I can say that I have experienced betrayal. I can't really say if I've been truly tested. After all I've lived a pretty cushy life. I didn't grow up in an urban area where gangs and drugs were a part of my life. I wasn't raised in a country where I had to watch what I say or who I say it to. I've never lived on the streets or had to beg for anything. I've had it disgustingly easy.
Which is why I find it hard to really judge Peter for what he did. I think for many it's so easy to dismiss his actions in the face of knowledge, but if you didn't know the outcome, can you really say you might not have done the same in his place? Here you are, with a group of friends one of whom you really believe in as a leader for a great cause, you know that in some ways what he says is seditious toward the government and ruling classes, but you honestly believe in his principles. You've left home for him, nearly starved with him, listened to him speak for hours and hours, visited the poor and crippled with him-and then he tells you matter of factly that you will deny that friendship. You wonder to yourself how could he possibly think you would ever turn your back if you are willing to go through so much? I don’t know about you, but for myself I can answer that I would be pissed. There’s really no other word for it. Then the law comes for him. Soldiers surround you all, you have no idea what they are after or who. Suddenly one of your buddies steps out from their midst, kisses your friend on the cheek (I wonder if this is where the Godfather got the idea), and immediately it becomes clear what their after. But is it just him or all of you? Are you considered accomplices? Brief violence breaks out, a soldier’s ear is cut off, yet amazingly instead of you all being arrested right then, your friend calms the situation and everyone disperses. The rest of you scurry, but you decide to follow and see what the deal is.
Remember this wasn't Democracy as we call it today, this was the Roman Republic. The Roman Empire that owned nearly all of the known world at that time. Soldiers were stationed in every city, dissension was highly frowned upon and their methods of dealing with those who spoke out against the government were not pretty. Crucifixion was one method that usually was only used for foreigners (since you did not barbarically execute Roman citizens-they were exiled, allowed to take their own life, or thrown off a cliff) and possibly the dregs of society. It was not an unknown method of punishment, people were very well aware of what it would be like. Brutal, thus making it a perfect deterrent.
So your friend has been taken into custody by the Romans. You see him being brought to the head religious leader, who you know is not a fan. You are surrounded by people who are probably, although I don’t recall it ever being stated, talking about your friend inside. Mob mentality can be the worst, and if the tide is against your friend it could turn ugly very quickly for you should you be discovered. Then some girl points at you and says "Hey, your friends with that guy, I've seen you hanging out with him." What do you do?
It's easy to stand back and say "I'd say 'Yes I Am!'" but really put yourself in Peter's place. You don't know what's going on. You're at the enemies’ door. You're surrounded by strangers, not friends or people who support you. You are in a lion's den standing on the ground of the very people who you have been listening to this man preach in opposition to. He's turned their words back on them, he's defied them, he's preached thoughts and concepts that are heretical in their presence and said words that could be seen as open defiance against their authority. He has purposely gone and shared his faith with people that these men would consider unworthy. He has, in their eyes, tossed pearls before swine. He has made comments that could be seen as hostile toward the Roman Empire, though none were openly so-they could be twisted to sound that way. So what would you do? Really, honestly, truly think about it.
In that moment, all eyes are on you. Are they friendly? Are they hostile? Will they make a type of citizen's arrest and drag you before the council as well? It is a very elemental reaction when placed in this type of situation for the survival instinct to kick in. Deny and live to escape and regroup with the others. Just make it out alive and then you can go from there. At the heart of our natures we are animals and flight or fight is still as much a part of our make up as it is any other creature in the wild. We want to survive.
Even now, today, there are people who have to make this choice. Living in a country where religious freedom is taken for granted it's hard for us to understand this decision, but think about other places. History is filled with martyrs who have stood up for their beliefs and died for them, but how many more hid what they felt in their hearts in order to survive? How can I, never having lived in that situation, honestly know what I would choose to say or do? Or what about the people who denied the truth only to go on later and do great things, or save countless lives? Like those who hid Jews during the Holocaust, like those who helped slaves escape by hiding them in their homes along the Underground Railroad, like Peter.
Peter, this man who denies his friend and turns his back on him, is recognized by most as being the first real leader of the new covenant (although I have some radical thoughts, almost heretical in nature on that, but that’s a later post). Through his letters to various foundling groups in this new religion, he spread the words and kept the flame going after it appeared that it might be snuffed out. From his works, and eventual martyrdom, this fledgling little nuisance of an ideology began to become a real threat to those in charge. Not just the government, but to religious leaders as well. From spreading the words of comfort and hope to those who were despairing the Messiah’s death, he kept this revolution going and for all that came to accept the Messiah, the Christ are they not now saved? How many billions and billions of souls can we now attribute to his efforts in those days immediately following the Resurrection of the Living Son?
So how do we judge Peter’s denial? This fisher of men, the rock upon which Christ built his church? Ultimately is he not a symbol of ourselves? The ultimate repentant in some way? A man who walked with Christ, denied Christ, and then ultimately went on to lead Christ’s church, how does that not speak in some way to us all? The extremists will say that every sin is a denial of God, of our Saviour, but then we were given forgiveness so in that sense how many times have you denied Christ? Is not the very fact that you might not speak up in a crowd of people who might be making fun of Christianity not a form of denial? What about when people ask you about your faith and you kind of shrug it off or give some blasé answer…”Yeah I’m Christian but I don’t really do any of that crazy stuff you know.” That, my friend, is denial in a way. So I would say don’t judge Peter too harshly. After all, once you take a real honest look at yourself can you say that you haven’t in your own way done the same at one time? I have.
P.S. You should never be ashamed or embarrassed about your faith, even if you believe differently than the others. After all Christ was a Jew, he believed in Judaism but he also believed in some radical ideas that didn’t necessarily fall into the ‘normal’ belief system. The very spirit of rebellion is to give voice to an idea that isn’t along the lines of accepted thinking. After all, to be a Christian is to follow a rebel.
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