Let the rebellion begin....

This idea has been stewing forever.  I keep putting it off because of fear and laziness.   I don't think it's a coincidence that I've decided to start this the day after Easter.  After all, this time of year is about new beginnings. The earth is starting to renew itself after being in the dark so long, why shouldn't my spirit?   Although, I admit I am more of a Fall/Winter gal :)       

So why this rebellion?  I've been soul weary.  I admit it.  I've been tired of reading and listening to all the hate, judgement and fear mongering that surrounds me daily.  This new religion of politics has become especially crushing (that will be another blog).  I am a pessimist by nature, a bit of a downer, so it becomes all to easy for me to get caught up in the negative energy.  However, the past couple of years has seen a real shift in my thought process.  It started when I learned that I am not in complete control of the world around me, only of myself.  That was very freeing.  I also had a personal battle with fear, which I have not completely won, but I have had some major victories there as well.  Also, very, very, very freeing.  Now I feel it is time to expand my horizons a bit.

Simply the concept is to read the Bible, ask questions, try and understand not just the words, but what the mindset was of the author.  What was the world like at that time?  What was going on amongst the inhabitants of the regions where the stories take place?  I want to understand the geography and it's influence, the politics, the practices, etc.  I want to understand the roots of my religion and how it grew to become what it is today.  Whether I consider it right or wrong.  I find the only thing that leads to answers is questions, and you can ask my family and friends, I love to question.  I also have a mean contrary streak, so I tend to be a bit cantankerous when told I should act or feel a certain way. 

This journey will be scattered and illogical, because that is the beauty of an unplanned journey.  It just takes hold and you just follow the road you're on until you decide to take a detour or a completely different path.  This rebellion won't be a loud cry (well not all the time...hee hee) but more in the vain of what I see Christ's rebellion like.  Subtle and quiet but effective.  I'm not out to change the world, though, I'm too lazy for that.  I just want a real understanding of what this religion is that I've subscribed to.  Free of any influence from the past teachings that were pounded into me, as free from mankind's influence as possible, to seek and find without wondering if it's a sin to question or wonder.

That's the plan anyway.  Let's just see where it leads.....